18 Weeks!

My bump has gone from none existent to massive in 1 week. It now resembles my usual 30 week bump!!

Funnily hardly any of the service users at work have noticed, so I'm going to try and wait til after my 20 week scan to let them know. Work colleagues have all been told, and they are all being lovely about it.

I have not really felt any flutters as such, but keep getting full-on kicks in my side. Walking has become a bit of a pain already....definitely getting a bit of a waddle on!

Have managed to find a co-sleeper cot second-hand for £25, I think it will be the best buy, as I had a co-sleeper crib before and it was perfect for night feeding after a c-section. Plus I can fit both babies in it so it will take up less room. 

Have been on a charity shop run and found a few first size sleepsuits and vests in white but very few and far between....I think most people must find out the sex of the baby now. So i think i'll just wait and send my OH to the Sainsbury around the corner after they are born for some nice gender specific outfits.

Work calls.....will hopefully update next week 

Paula x

Time For An Update!!

I'd basically forgotten about my blog! So much so that I didn't realise it was all set up to an old email, which I hadn't accessed for nearly 2 years :-D


Well much has happened in that relatively short time. I have decided to start writing on here again to progress my pregnancy....mostly as it will be my last one, and to chart how it feels to be an 'older' mother.

I had my first daughter when I was 20 and so naive...looking back I was still just a child!

I will be 37 when this bundle arrives...and its a big bundle....I'm expecting twins :-o

My partner and I are still getting over the shock of the scan!

I'm 17 weeks pregnant and am just getting a bump now. I was so nauseous for the first 14 weeks that I lost nearly a stone in weight, however the bonus of that is that i'm still in my 'normal' clothes. I doubt for very much longer though....

The 2 eldest girls have taken it all very well, I think they are quite excited....and hopefully it will be enough to put them off having babies until they are at least 30, haha.

The 'soon to be' middle two don't quite get it yet I don't think. Maybe once my bump starts knocking them over in a morning it may become real for them.

I'm writing this whilst at work....got my part-time job working with adults with learning disabilities and right now its IT sessions....which means computer time :-) I hope to stay at work for as long as possible, but understand my role may change as I probably won't be much 'support' when i'm a big blob. I don't really fancy working up in the office, but I suppose if it means I get longer off after the birth, I'll put up with it.

Now the sicky feeling has gone I'm able to eat, but my stomach is already being squished (I carry my babies high!) so I'm still not managing full portions....so going for the little and often approach. Have totally gone off chicken...again....so sticking to veggies. 

Time for lunch at work, will hopefully update each week...and put up a scan pic when I figure it out!

Paula xx

I Have Man-Flu!!

Well I have something. . . .

I have had 1 'ill' day so far this year . . . and that was 4 days after my ex left me and I was juggling children, work, and uni. . . I think then it was my brain/body making me rest.

Because i'm rarely ill, when I am, I'm rubbish at it!!! Man-flu has nothing on this!

I don't have a cold. . . no sneezing, no runny nose, no coughing. . . . I just feel exhausted :/  The problem is I like/need a lot of sleeps. . . . ideally 10 hours a day. . . . unfortunately for me, my Son wakes at around 5:30am every morning. So unless I start going to sleeps at 7:30pm those 10 hours are unachievable. Well the 2 youngest don't go to sleeps til 8pm anyway. . . . so that's that idea gone.

I wish there were sleeping jobs!! I'd be world leader at that. . . . in fact I'd be Queen of the Sleeps Universe!!

So if everyone could just feel sorry for me and give me tea and sympathy, I can drag it out at least a day longer :D

Did I Do Something Right?

My 14 year old daughter wrote this short story today. She gets more beautiful and more talented every day xx I may be rubbish at being a wife/girlfriend but I think I get 'Mummy' right most of the time.

Pathetic, Lazy, Selfish and Nothing

“He has to go!”She exclaimed, “Now!”

The mother stood leaning on the counter in the kitchen. She wore a baby pink suit and high cream heels with an apron so white; you would think it had never seen hard work in its life. Her long bleached blonde hair was pinned up in a 1950’s up do, which was held with an excessive amount of hairspray so not one strand of hair was out of place. Everything about the mother was perfect; her hair was perfect, her makeup was perfect, her house was perfect and her life was perfect. But if her life was perfect, what reason would she have for shouting?

Earlier that evening the mother had gone to her weekly book club, (not to talk about books, but rather to gossip about the neighbours).  She enjoyed this very much as it gave her the opportunity to talk about herself and how great her life was, but in the middle of her story about how the local reverend commended her on her excellent ability for looking after children, one of the women brought up the mother’s son and what he had got up to with his friends that evening. The mother was shocked, scarred and speechless and while the other women literally swam with joy in her embarrassment, she made a vow to herself that the thing holding her life back from perfection would be terminated.

“Oh come on it was harmless fun, and where are we going to send him, to prison?” laughed the father, who was sitting down at the kitchen table opposite his wife, twiddling his pen between his boney fingers.

“Harmless fun? Do you understand how embarrassed I was at the book club, I could have been sick with the thought of the entire neighborhood knowing what he did!” shouted the mother.

The father, who was as prim and proper as his wife, just raised his eyebrows pretending that the conversation was not important. He was dressed in a navy blue suit with a matching tie, his jet black hair was combed to perfection and his cufflinks were as shiny as new penny. He worked very hard and had a very well paid job, he worked to keep the house, keep the cars and mostly to make his wife happy because he didn’t care about his public appearance - that was her job.

“We’ll send him to that army boarding school tomorrow, it is decided, ” said the mother brushing away a strand of hair that wasn’t even visible.

“Oh, it was harmless fun!”exclaimed the father slamming his pen on the table. The mother looked at him with prying eyes.

“HE RAN THROUGH THE PARK COMPLETELY NAKED!” shouted the mother, who was beside herself with  anger. The father looked down at his lap smirking. The mother seeing this took the opportunity to pounce.

“You know this is entirely your fault,” she hissed, “It’s all you, you pathetic excuse for a man. Father told me it was best not to marry you because you were lazy and selfish and this just proves it all, doesn’t it? You’re just pathetic, lazy and selfish aren’t you? You’re nothing.”  The mother stood tensed, baring her pearly sharp teeth. The woman who was once described as a beautiful and angelic house wife had turned into a hideous and mind-controlling devil.

The father started at his silent wife. He tried his best for a perfect life there was no denying. She knew he tried his best, but his best was just not good enough for her.  Silence.

She just stared at him.

“I suppose there is nothing much we can do,” the father mumbled, “I’ll give the school a call later.” He said, hoping his wife’s evil stare would fade off him now he had agreed. She handed him the phone, “No, you will call now,” she explained as if she was talking to an infant, although her smile said kind, her eyes said cruel. The father slowly and carefully took the phone from his wife’s hand and went to press the first number on the moon white number key, but he stopped as he noticed his son in the doorway.

“She’s controlling you dad! You are your own person; don’t let her tell you what to do, do what you believe in!” The boy shouted. Unlike his parents the boy was scruffy, wearing stained trousers and a ripped shirt, but he did look like he had made an effort, but the effort was made before he went climbing trees.

“How dare you! You little-”

“No, let me handle this,” the dad said standing up, “I want you to apologize to your mother, right now.”

The boy straightened up and lifted his chest with pride as he spoke, “No I will not.”

The mother who was shaking with anger lifted a pan from the overhead shelf and walked towards her son, with every sense of sanity leaving her eyes. The boy’s eyes widened and then he ran off upstairs, the mother screamed after him, but the father shook the mother’s hands off the pan and took all the pans and anything in the kitchen that could be counted as a weapon, and locked them in the spotless under stairs cupboard. Then he returned to his wife who was still shaking, he sat her down.

 “You will teach him not to mess with his parents won’t you?  You’ll show him the real pain he gets for doing it, won’t you? won’t you? Because if you do then you won’t be useless or pathetic or lazy, you’ll be great!” exclaimed the mother, lying through her teeth. If there was anything she wanted more in life than perfection, it was to get rid of her son.

“Yes of course I will, I will beat him until he learns.” stated the father, matter-of-factly.

The father walked up the stairs and into the boy’s room. The boy was sitting on top of his suitcase, trying hardest to fit all his comics into it, once he admitted defeat; he chucked some of the comics out of the suitcase then latched it shut.

“Listen son about your mother, she’s having a hard time and I just can’t persuade her-“

“Don’t worry about it dad,” said the boy throwing his brown leather suitcase onto his back, “I thought you were on my side you know, father and son no matter what. But now I have learned that that is not true, now I have learned that you are weak, weak and feeble and a complete pushover. I mean I hate her, I always have, and she hates me, but at least we’re honest about it, aren’t we? Not like you who acts all tough and mean in front of her but then comes up and is apologizing!”

The father opened his mouth to interrupt but the boy wasn’t finished, “I thought you were up here to beat me! Do you want me to beat myself up so you don’t look like a coward,” The boy said in a mock baby voice, “Because that’s all you are, a coward! I’m going to go to this army school thing, because I don’t like living in this broken home.” The boy walked over to his door.

“But son, it’s not me, it’s your mother, she’s the bad one, and she’s the one who wants you to be sent away!” The father pleaded. But the boy simply shook his head, “That’s just an image, but deep down you’re the bad one, for not defending your own son. You’re just pathetic, lazy and selfish aren’t you? You’re nothing!” The boy stood in the doorway and reached for the door handle and the father sat down on his son’s bed with his face buried in his hands. The mother, (who was now standing behind her son,) took the suitcase and guided her son down the stairs towards the car with her hand spread gently on his back. Finally, she thought, some co-operation, that’s all I wanted.

The father stood at the upstairs window, watching his wife and son leave the house. As the mother put the suitcase in the boot of the car, the boy turned to look up at his father, disappointment clouding his eyes. The mother opened the car door for the boy who closed his eyes and clambered in. The engine went on and the patterned black wheels began to turn, as the car drove off, four words rang like an alarm in the father’s head; Pathetic, lazy, selfish and nothing.

By Robyn Kinnersley

Leon the Grandaddy!

My friend Leon just told me he's about to become a Grandad. . . . . he's 36!

His daughter went to the doctors yesterday to get the contaceptive implant removed because she felt it was causing her to put on weight. . . . after being sent to the hospital in turns out she's 41 weeks pregnant!

I know no contraceptive is 100% but thats just scary. So yesterday morning she was a 16 year old girl worried about putting on a little bit of weight and by the evening she was a 5 days overdue pregnant lady.

How do you cope with that as a family? He doesn't even live up here anymore, he lives in Brighton, with his husband (oh yeah. . . . he's now gay!) and has just opened up a doggy daycare business.. . . . he couldn't get camper if he tried! :D.

And imagine if she hadn't gone to the docs and just went into labour at school or at home alone :/

He's really excited bless him and is driving up here as I type. 

The human body is an amazing thing. . . . but it can bugger off if  wants to reject contraceptives and then hide your pregnancy for 9 months!

I remember his daughter being about 14 months old. . . . that is just soooo scary, where did the time go?

Bah Humbug!!

The only thing I like about Xmas is Mince Pies!

I'm really not joking!

And as I have had two packets already and its not even October, there isn't much Xmassy about them any more :/

Xmas means absolutely nothing to me. . . . absolutely nothing. . . . except GREED. People getting themselves into debt because they feel the need to smother their children with material possessions. And everyone feeling the need to eat their own bodyweight in food when half the world goes hungry :( . . . . Not that they would eat 'cheesy footballs' anyway! Who makes this xmas crap?? Children judging each other on how many toys they got, and parents competing with each other to supply their little darlings with the latest gadgets/clothes/toys.

Xmas makes me sad. . . It means nothing anymore to anyone except those lucky enough to believe in a god who sent his Son to earth to die.. . . for me!. . . . apparently.

Friends say "ahh but it's all about family", I do like to point out that for me its 'all about family' 365 days of the year, but they don't like that. I don't need one day to show my children how much I love them. . . . I get to do that every second of every minute that I spend with them.

I hate that every manufacturer jumps on an xmas bandwagon and suddenly all packaging is red & green, just to sell more. . . . just for profits. GREED.

And its unavoidable. . . . thats the worst thing. . . there is nowhere I can go where there is not some crappy tinsel hanging from the ceiling and stocking fillers and flashing santa earrings. I wonder when the music will start. . . . because thats when I get really depressed!!

I actually think I would prefer to go to a church at xmas because at least the people are there for the supposed right reason!! But I always feel like i'm about to burst into flame in churches. . . . so on second thoughts. . .

You think i'm ranty now? Wait until November! :p

Merry xmas one and all!

Love,
Paula xx

I Need a Man!

There are some days a girl just NEEDS a man. . . .

Today is one of those days :/

I want to watch as he gets all hot and sweaty, watch as his muscles bulge and strain with effort, watch as his breathing becomes laboured and shallow.

I need a man so much, and I can't do it by myself. . . .

Oh ladies, you know what i'm talking about. . . . . .




. . . . . I need some furniture moved!

I'm a strong, independent woman, but even I fail at some things :( I was supposed to wallpaper my daughter's new bedroom, but I can't because I can't move the bloody furniture. So now I have to wait for my Daddy to come help. *sigh*
That's Women's Lib for you :D