I Have Man-Flu!!

Well I have something. . . .

I have had 1 'ill' day so far this year . . . and that was 4 days after my ex left me and I was juggling children, work, and uni. . . I think then it was my brain/body making me rest.

Because i'm rarely ill, when I am, I'm rubbish at it!!! Man-flu has nothing on this!

I don't have a cold. . . no sneezing, no runny nose, no coughing. . . . I just feel exhausted :/  The problem is I like/need a lot of sleeps. . . . ideally 10 hours a day. . . . unfortunately for me, my Son wakes at around 5:30am every morning. So unless I start going to sleeps at 7:30pm those 10 hours are unachievable. Well the 2 youngest don't go to sleeps til 8pm anyway. . . . so that's that idea gone.

I wish there were sleeping jobs!! I'd be world leader at that. . . . in fact I'd be Queen of the Sleeps Universe!!

So if everyone could just feel sorry for me and give me tea and sympathy, I can drag it out at least a day longer :D

Did I Do Something Right?

My 14 year old daughter wrote this short story today. She gets more beautiful and more talented every day xx I may be rubbish at being a wife/girlfriend but I think I get 'Mummy' right most of the time.

Pathetic, Lazy, Selfish and Nothing

“He has to go!”She exclaimed, “Now!”

The mother stood leaning on the counter in the kitchen. She wore a baby pink suit and high cream heels with an apron so white; you would think it had never seen hard work in its life. Her long bleached blonde hair was pinned up in a 1950’s up do, which was held with an excessive amount of hairspray so not one strand of hair was out of place. Everything about the mother was perfect; her hair was perfect, her makeup was perfect, her house was perfect and her life was perfect. But if her life was perfect, what reason would she have for shouting?

Earlier that evening the mother had gone to her weekly book club, (not to talk about books, but rather to gossip about the neighbours).  She enjoyed this very much as it gave her the opportunity to talk about herself and how great her life was, but in the middle of her story about how the local reverend commended her on her excellent ability for looking after children, one of the women brought up the mother’s son and what he had got up to with his friends that evening. The mother was shocked, scarred and speechless and while the other women literally swam with joy in her embarrassment, she made a vow to herself that the thing holding her life back from perfection would be terminated.

“Oh come on it was harmless fun, and where are we going to send him, to prison?” laughed the father, who was sitting down at the kitchen table opposite his wife, twiddling his pen between his boney fingers.

“Harmless fun? Do you understand how embarrassed I was at the book club, I could have been sick with the thought of the entire neighborhood knowing what he did!” shouted the mother.

The father, who was as prim and proper as his wife, just raised his eyebrows pretending that the conversation was not important. He was dressed in a navy blue suit with a matching tie, his jet black hair was combed to perfection and his cufflinks were as shiny as new penny. He worked very hard and had a very well paid job, he worked to keep the house, keep the cars and mostly to make his wife happy because he didn’t care about his public appearance - that was her job.

“We’ll send him to that army boarding school tomorrow, it is decided, ” said the mother brushing away a strand of hair that wasn’t even visible.

“Oh, it was harmless fun!”exclaimed the father slamming his pen on the table. The mother looked at him with prying eyes.

“HE RAN THROUGH THE PARK COMPLETELY NAKED!” shouted the mother, who was beside herself with  anger. The father looked down at his lap smirking. The mother seeing this took the opportunity to pounce.

“You know this is entirely your fault,” she hissed, “It’s all you, you pathetic excuse for a man. Father told me it was best not to marry you because you were lazy and selfish and this just proves it all, doesn’t it? You’re just pathetic, lazy and selfish aren’t you? You’re nothing.”  The mother stood tensed, baring her pearly sharp teeth. The woman who was once described as a beautiful and angelic house wife had turned into a hideous and mind-controlling devil.

The father started at his silent wife. He tried his best for a perfect life there was no denying. She knew he tried his best, but his best was just not good enough for her.  Silence.

She just stared at him.

“I suppose there is nothing much we can do,” the father mumbled, “I’ll give the school a call later.” He said, hoping his wife’s evil stare would fade off him now he had agreed. She handed him the phone, “No, you will call now,” she explained as if she was talking to an infant, although her smile said kind, her eyes said cruel. The father slowly and carefully took the phone from his wife’s hand and went to press the first number on the moon white number key, but he stopped as he noticed his son in the doorway.

“She’s controlling you dad! You are your own person; don’t let her tell you what to do, do what you believe in!” The boy shouted. Unlike his parents the boy was scruffy, wearing stained trousers and a ripped shirt, but he did look like he had made an effort, but the effort was made before he went climbing trees.

“How dare you! You little-”

“No, let me handle this,” the dad said standing up, “I want you to apologize to your mother, right now.”

The boy straightened up and lifted his chest with pride as he spoke, “No I will not.”

The mother who was shaking with anger lifted a pan from the overhead shelf and walked towards her son, with every sense of sanity leaving her eyes. The boy’s eyes widened and then he ran off upstairs, the mother screamed after him, but the father shook the mother’s hands off the pan and took all the pans and anything in the kitchen that could be counted as a weapon, and locked them in the spotless under stairs cupboard. Then he returned to his wife who was still shaking, he sat her down.

 “You will teach him not to mess with his parents won’t you?  You’ll show him the real pain he gets for doing it, won’t you? won’t you? Because if you do then you won’t be useless or pathetic or lazy, you’ll be great!” exclaimed the mother, lying through her teeth. If there was anything she wanted more in life than perfection, it was to get rid of her son.

“Yes of course I will, I will beat him until he learns.” stated the father, matter-of-factly.

The father walked up the stairs and into the boy’s room. The boy was sitting on top of his suitcase, trying hardest to fit all his comics into it, once he admitted defeat; he chucked some of the comics out of the suitcase then latched it shut.

“Listen son about your mother, she’s having a hard time and I just can’t persuade her-“

“Don’t worry about it dad,” said the boy throwing his brown leather suitcase onto his back, “I thought you were on my side you know, father and son no matter what. But now I have learned that that is not true, now I have learned that you are weak, weak and feeble and a complete pushover. I mean I hate her, I always have, and she hates me, but at least we’re honest about it, aren’t we? Not like you who acts all tough and mean in front of her but then comes up and is apologizing!”

The father opened his mouth to interrupt but the boy wasn’t finished, “I thought you were up here to beat me! Do you want me to beat myself up so you don’t look like a coward,” The boy said in a mock baby voice, “Because that’s all you are, a coward! I’m going to go to this army school thing, because I don’t like living in this broken home.” The boy walked over to his door.

“But son, it’s not me, it’s your mother, she’s the bad one, and she’s the one who wants you to be sent away!” The father pleaded. But the boy simply shook his head, “That’s just an image, but deep down you’re the bad one, for not defending your own son. You’re just pathetic, lazy and selfish aren’t you? You’re nothing!” The boy stood in the doorway and reached for the door handle and the father sat down on his son’s bed with his face buried in his hands. The mother, (who was now standing behind her son,) took the suitcase and guided her son down the stairs towards the car with her hand spread gently on his back. Finally, she thought, some co-operation, that’s all I wanted.

The father stood at the upstairs window, watching his wife and son leave the house. As the mother put the suitcase in the boot of the car, the boy turned to look up at his father, disappointment clouding his eyes. The mother opened the car door for the boy who closed his eyes and clambered in. The engine went on and the patterned black wheels began to turn, as the car drove off, four words rang like an alarm in the father’s head; Pathetic, lazy, selfish and nothing.

By Robyn Kinnersley